Some people have fame they don’t deserve. Kim Kardashian comes to mind. Miley Cyrus practically invented the category. And Psy is the modern day personification of talentless millionaire. But then there are other things that go through life WITHOUT gaining the recognition they deserve. Each video on the following list of YouTube clips has had well under a million views, yet have given me more laughs than some of the all-time classics. I’m just trying to give credit where it’s due by sharing them with you.
10. Hayden Crozier Takes What Could Be Mark of the Year
As a proud member of the Purple Haze, there was always going to be for a Fremantle Docker on here. But this is no cheap plug for my favourite sports team. Some context: in 2011, many AFL players took marks. Furthermore, many were outstanding, including those taken by eventual Mark of the Year winner Andrew Krakouer and runner up Andrew Walker. However, for me none came close to the mark taken by Victorian teenager Hayden Crozier playing for Vic Metro against Western Australia in the under 18 championships. The outrageous height of the grab is just one aspect of it. The distance he had to run to get there. The acceleration to get there in time. The composure to get straight up and dispose effectively to a teammate, setting up a shot on goal. The fact that the ball was spinning unpredictably in the air. Incredible.
9. Creepy Cricket Fan Brady Bunch Edition
By now most of you will have seen the Creepy Cricket Fan – the strange individual who steps into frame during a shot of the crowd at a cricket match, and stares down the camera. If you haven’t you’re missing out. This takes it to a whole new level. Brady Bunch opening credits knowledge is recommended to get the most out of this.
8. I’m An Individual – Mark Jacko Jackson
There existed a time when to get a Top 15 single in Australia, all you had to do was be a relatively competent AFL player, yell inexplicable lyrics at a microphone, and do a dance that involves swinging your fists in circles and spinning around with the apparent aim of destroying everything in your path in a rage. This videoclip is proof that such a time did in fact exist, courtesy of Mark Jackson. In the chorus, Jackson states “I’m an individual, you can’t fool me”, which is interesting, as I’m unaware of there being any scientifically-established correlation between individuality and the ability to be fooled. Outrageous.
7. Stephen Milne Tip Rat Triple M Commentary
This is what AFL broadcasts need more of. James Brayshaw may appear to be a relatively mild-mannered gentleman. He’s the president of North Melbourne Football Club – it’s his JOB to be a relatively mild-mannered gentleman. But put a microphone in front of him, whack him in a commentary box with his mates and turn on the footy, and he mutates into the game’s best caller. This is a man effectively given the licence to say whatever he pleases on free to air radio, a fact best exemplified by this highlight reel of banter during a game between St Kilda and Adelaide. On field, this match was highlighted by eight goals from Saints forward Stephen Milne. Off field though, Brayshaw outshone even that display, with endlessly quotable lines referencing Milne that never get old. And the “Tip Rat munching on a carcass” sound effects? Timeless.
6. The Mighty Boosh/And That’s Why I Can’t Go For That
The Mighty Boosh is renowned for being weird. And even the Spirit of Jazz: with his flaming top hat, and Old Gregg: a borderline sexually deviant Baileys-loving sea monster, seem as interesting as an empty lunchbox compared to old mate Bob Fossil. His bizarre mannerisms are summed up in this bite sized clip that doesn’t just feature an awesomely iconic piece of 80s music genius. It features the single best dance in human history, finished off by a truly astonishing punch line.
5. Gimme Back My Son Remix
If your child was kidnapped and held to ransom, you wouldn’t laugh about it. And when I saw Ron Howard’s Mel Gibson-driven film Ransom, I can’t remember laughing too often. Which is why legendary clip remixer Swede Mason’s mash-up of lines from the film is so good. It somehow makes serious scenes in a serious movie on a serious topic hilarious and, dare I say it, catchy. There’s some talent on display here that some DJs would kill for too.
4. What playing Cricket looks like to Americans
This one could swing either way depending how patient you are (5+ minute length). But if you like weird stuff, and were brought up on a diet of Monty Python and British absurdity of that ilk, you’ll find this absolutely hilarious. My sources tell me this is actually a clip from a Dutch variety show, but that’s neither here nor there. What we have here is a strange combination of cricket, Frisbee, a short distance sprint, chess played on a field with a saloon door and a rugby referee, narrated by commentary that alternates between English and absolute jibberish. Very curious.
3. Dillon, You Son of a Bitch
In the future, all people will greet each other in this way. Simultaneously a celebration of mateship, superhuman strength and the acting talents of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers, it’s a piece of cinematographic genius that we sadly see very rarely these days. My current favourite Schwarzenegger scene.
2. Nicolas Cage Teaches the Alphabet
Nicolas Cage must be the most successful crazy people of all time. If anyone else had tried to act out this scene (was he even acting?) I have no doubt they would have failed. No one does stark raving mad quite like Mr. Cage, and it all comes together deliciously well in this scene from Vampire’s Kiss. This version includes helpful visual depictions of all 26 letters of the English alphabet, so in a way this is the only video on this list suitable for kids.
1. Devil’s Clay by Billy Bunks
I don’t care much for Aussie Hip Hop. Never have. Never will. But I’ve got PLENTY of time for this number from obscure Aussie Hip Hopper Billy Bunks. This is nothing more and nothing less than the video clip of a song about a man talking about climbing onto a roof, taking a shit, and throwing it at people. Needless to say, parental guidance is advised, but if you can cop a bit of foul language (there will be C Bombs), your life will be all the better for it. Where would I be without the line: “Youse did not ask for the fruits of my arse but you copped ‘em”? Probably somewhere more productive, financially viable and respectable, but I still like that line.